In-search-of-security

The Cocoon of Confidence

In my culture, there is a saying which goes, “Empty utensils make the most noise.” It has stayed with me forever because of its simplicity of drawing a parallel to our emotions.

Let me explain….

Do you remember, as a kid, finding or learning something new was so exciting you’d explain your fascination to every person willing to listen? Kids subconsciously use the praise from parents for validation and create a positive feedback loop for exploring new areas.

But as you grow old and gain more expertise, you realize that the knowledge we have is minuscule to amount out there. We become open to conversations that imbibe and gain more understanding.

But… there’s always someone…..

An overly-loud colleague or a classmate who can’t shut their mouth. They have an opinion (mainly on the wrong spectrum) or an inaccurate fact on everything.

A person who likes to have a last word on everything and never agrees even when they are wrong about something. You can’t correct them because if you do, a personal attack or snarky comment is coming. People like these don’t have discussions, everything for them is an argument.

Every conversation is a platform to prove their superiority.

Firstly, everyone hates this guy. DON’T BE THEM.

But most importantly, like empty utensils, those with the slightest knowledge tend to make the most noise.

Remember, people, turn out to be this way because of many underlying issues. It could be a survival instinct, a validation method, or just for seeking attention.

Such people tend to be loud to cover their anxiety about being left behind or not being enough. The lack of effort they put into upgrading their skills or coming to peace with their abilities, due to which they project their voices outward to be noticed.

So I learned to cut these people out.

There is no point in valuing the opinions of a society that doesn't understand what it’s like to be in your shoes.

Starting as a creator means you put yourself out every day to be critiqued by anyone and everyone. As much as I appreciate the community that has helped me grow, I did face my fair share of allegations and criticism of my work. As a person already filled with doubt regarding my visuals, ideas, and mindsets initially, I used to try to justify myself. But with no success. I tried to justify, defend, and explain my thought process to whoever alleged it.

And then I stopped.

On this journey as a creator, as I started gaining traction, I stopped noticing what people were saying about me. I kept true to my process and kept showing up every day.

Initially, even my family didn’t believe I could do something substantial on social media.

Constructive criticisms are still welcome. Still, there is always someone out there who doesn’t believe my intentions behind these visuals or someone who thinks I just got lucky or that I have a massive network of accounts increasing my engagement.

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It’s best to find confidence from within than seeking it from outside validation.

Adding a few points that have helped me gain confidence in my journey and hope they help you too:

  • Identify your insecurities

  • Challenge your insecurities in a realistic scenario

  • Only value the opinions of those who are walking the same path as you

  • Surround yourself with positive people

  • Practice self-compassion

  • Seek validation from within

  • Set boundaries for those who pull you down.

Remember to be patient and kind to yourself, and celebrate your efforts, no matter how small they are.

Reply to this mail or tweet me at me @mounika_2000 with the following:

  • Any insecurities you want to share?

  • Any particular instance where you felt insecure due to other’s opinions than your own?

I respond to each and every reply.

Receiving email replies to the newsletter means the world to me. Thank you for joining me along on the ride, and meet you in the next issue of Swirling Visions.

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